Yahoo! I have once again changed my template, this time to another of Joanna's. Her link is somewhere on my site but I'll see if I can make a link all by myself with my newfound html skills. Here's her site!

I went to all my classes today, just like last Friday. I came home and then I slept for 5 hours while my mommy...who is truly wonderful...both my parents really are superawesome...toiled away in the kitchen. She made this delicious soup! She's so smart, my mom is: she'll put all these veggies and stuff, especially peas and beans that she knows I don't like in her soup, but she uses a turkey base so that it smells delish...then it ends up tasting yummy so I end up getting some veggies into me! Verrry sneaky!

My mom and sister work at the same place and their Christmas party is tomorrow...or looking at my computer clock, later today. They are both going to look soo gorgeous! My sister is said to look just like me...except that I weigh MUCH more than she does. She's got a nice figure and a cute face. My mom's face is also sooo pretty...people are always thinking I'm her sister!!! I feel like Cinderella must have felt before she discovered she had a fairy godmother, except I KNOW there is no such thing; woe is me...

I read someone's 'Bitch Magazine' on here...I really must find her diary again. She was talking about 45 pounds that sort of comes and goes...or has come and gone...over the past 10 years. Weight is such an annoying issue: sure, society might be (slightly) responsible for the way people perceive beauty but still, but to me that is such a lazy way out. I really think that any individual whose weight is getting in the way of their having a normal life cannot just sit back and blame society. I mean, in the news lately I think I heard of some kids suing McDonald's: come on!!! We are all human beings, not animals or robots! We choose to stuff our faces and toss our money at fast food restaurants. They don't force us to watch their commercials or enter their restaurants! I think people have to just take responsibiblity for their actions. It's hard, it'll make you feel like crap, but if you survive the whole ordeal you will undoubtedly be a better person (and hopefully hotter and fitter). (an unexpected rant!)

I used to want to find a guy who would want me for my personality and my characteristics, and not for my physical appearance. For years I told my friends that I was never attracted to guys because of looks first, that it was their niceness or kindness that made or makes me like them. I still think this is true but I notice I'm rarely attracted to men who would be considered significantly overweight. Now I realize that I want a boyfriend who thinks I'm physically attractive as well as having a good personality or other characteristcs. I want a guy who sees me as attractive and is proud to be seen with me. That will never happen until I'm proud to be seen myself.

I can't say I have actually devoted myself to anything that could be called a diet or worked out consistently but almost every day thoughts of doing that enter my head...and quickly fly out. One of these days it has to stick...

Updates on other parts of my life:

-Yes...emailing Mike was a foolish mistake...I was weak. I remember now that in part of his email, where I said that I had thought about him rather often of late (though not in such poetic fashion) he said "I have thought of you occasionally" or something to that effect. Occasionally??? Am I supposed to drop in a swoon at his feet because he deigned to think about me now and then? ugh! And I responded to that email, happy to be once again corresponding with him????? I am so glad that he hasn't written back yet!!! He won't. Maybe this will teach me a lesson.

-exams are coming up; final exams. I have a tonne of reading to do and that is a bit of a daunting task so I will try to ignore it

-I have to pay my faculty a visit soon to talk to them about my status as a student. I should have done this at least a month ago but I'm too scared.

-I need to get my driver's license again due to my annoying tendency to procrastinate! I am back to square one with Ontario's graduated licensing program! And at age 23!!

Ok... I've been online way too long today and I'm going to skip happily towards my bed now since skipping burns more calories than walking....

Posted on 2002-11-23 at 5:23 a.m. |